Rollercoaster ride

A friend who attended BlogHer gave me some web addresses of women she met who blog about their struggles with infertility. I haven't had the desire to check them out yet. Not sure why.

I have often thought about whether I should start a blog focused on my fertility challenges, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do so. I guess the optimist in me is keeping hope that this is a temporary situation.

Let's face it, I've been dealing with this for over a year now. It sure ain't temporary and sure doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon. As I go through box after $30 box of ovulation kits only to see a single blue line each day... my emotions and state of mind are on a constant roller coaster ride. One day, I am optimistic after the positive words from my Chinese medicine guru. The next day, I am bummed again from a negative result on a stupid plastic device. Those DAMN plastic devices. I hate them. (guess you can tell which frame of mind I'm currently in?!?)

The next question is... do I skip the madness and go straight to the "big guns" treatment: I.V.F (price tag $13,000), do I keep spending cash on acupuncture treatments (still much less than the Western treatments) which may be a slow process - and let's face it, I ain't getting any younger - OR do I baby step it with $3,000 I.U.I treatments which may not work and require I do I.V.F anyways?

Also, the issues have been isolated to me so far. My husband hasn't been a factor at all. But let's face it HE isn't getting any younger either.

Can someone wave a magic wand and make me fertile, please?