I have moved my blogging platform...
Please find me at my new location at http://sheilamia.wordpress.com/
7.24.2008
Rollercoaster ride
A friend who attended BlogHer gave me some web addresses of women she met who blog about their struggles with infertility. I haven't had the desire to check them out yet. Not sure why.
I have often thought about whether I should start a blog focused on my fertility challenges, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do so. I guess the optimist in me is keeping hope that this is a temporary situation.
Let's face it, I've been dealing with this for over a year now. It sure ain't temporary and sure doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon. As I go through box after $30 box of ovulation kits only to see a single blue line each day... my emotions and state of mind are on a constant roller coaster ride. One day, I am optimistic after the positive words from my Chinese medicine guru. The next day, I am bummed again from a negative result on a stupid plastic device. Those DAMN plastic devices. I hate them. (guess you can tell which frame of mind I'm currently in?!?)
The next question is... do I skip the madness and go straight to the "big guns" treatment: I.V.F (price tag $13,000), do I keep spending cash on acupuncture treatments (still much less than the Western treatments) which may be a slow process - and let's face it, I ain't getting any younger - OR do I baby step it with $3,000 I.U.I treatments which may not work and require I do I.V.F anyways?
Also, the issues have been isolated to me so far. My husband hasn't been a factor at all. But let's face it HE isn't getting any younger either.
Can someone wave a magic wand and make me fertile, please?
I have often thought about whether I should start a blog focused on my fertility challenges, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do so. I guess the optimist in me is keeping hope that this is a temporary situation.
Let's face it, I've been dealing with this for over a year now. It sure ain't temporary and sure doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon. As I go through box after $30 box of ovulation kits only to see a single blue line each day... my emotions and state of mind are on a constant roller coaster ride. One day, I am optimistic after the positive words from my Chinese medicine guru. The next day, I am bummed again from a negative result on a stupid plastic device. Those DAMN plastic devices. I hate them. (guess you can tell which frame of mind I'm currently in?!?)
The next question is... do I skip the madness and go straight to the "big guns" treatment: I.V.F (price tag $13,000), do I keep spending cash on acupuncture treatments (still much less than the Western treatments) which may be a slow process - and let's face it, I ain't getting any younger - OR do I baby step it with $3,000 I.U.I treatments which may not work and require I do I.V.F anyways?
Also, the issues have been isolated to me so far. My husband hasn't been a factor at all. But let's face it HE isn't getting any younger either.
Can someone wave a magic wand and make me fertile, please?
7.23.2008
When something you depend on fails you
Somehow, I have found myself addicted to Twitter. Chute, I even set Lucy up with an account!
It's a great tool for me to quickly let a bunch of people know what I'm doing. It's also the easiest way to learn what's new in technology, sports, and other topics that interest me.
You can do it to! Simply find an available twitterer from Twellow who is an expert in the industry and start to follow them.
Next thing you know, you'll get up-to-date "tweets" as your "followed" twitterers post something. You can get these tweets on the web or even on your cellphone if you want.
The problem with Twitter is it is highly unstable. The service goes down if there are too many twitterers using it. I have seen their "service down" screen (picture of a whale being carried by a swarm of orange birds) way too many times for something that so many people rely on.
There is clearly much misery displayed (in the form of tweets received an hour later than intended, once the service has returned) from users who are sick and tired of the lack of availability of this tool.
Sadly, I think everyone is in the same boat as I. We love to hate Twitter. I can't imagine giving up on Twitter at this point, so I just live with it.
It's a great tool for me to quickly let a bunch of people know what I'm doing. It's also the easiest way to learn what's new in technology, sports, and other topics that interest me.
You can do it to! Simply find an available twitterer from Twellow who is an expert in the industry and start to follow them.
Next thing you know, you'll get up-to-date "tweets" as your "followed" twitterers post something. You can get these tweets on the web or even on your cellphone if you want.
The problem with Twitter is it is highly unstable. The service goes down if there are too many twitterers using it. I have seen their "service down" screen (picture of a whale being carried by a swarm of orange birds) way too many times for something that so many people rely on.
There is clearly much misery displayed (in the form of tweets received an hour later than intended, once the service has returned) from users who are sick and tired of the lack of availability of this tool.
Sadly, I think everyone is in the same boat as I. We love to hate Twitter. I can't imagine giving up on Twitter at this point, so I just live with it.
7.22.2008
Like an old friend.
Saturday morning was crazy - my cell phone fell out of my bag during morning walkie. Luckily a wonderful woman picked it up and emailed me to let me know she had found it on the trail. How lucky am I? All the chaos meant I had to rush around to make my 9am acupuncture appointment. Of course I had to drive to the city cause San Ramon was booked up... Of course my gas light came on halfway into the city so I had to stop for a fill-up. It is amazing I made it there at 9:02am.
The SF Harmony Acupuncture office is on Clement street, which is like a mini-Chinatown. All of the shops cater to the Chinese community... grocery stores with unidentifiable fruits and vegetables outside. Signs written in Chinese, etc.
I walked along Clement looking for the address, passing shabbily dressed, elderly Asians clutching bags of groceries. Echoing in the back of my mind were my mom's words when I first told her I was doing acupuncture, "is the place clean?" (forehead crinkled with look of cringe on her face). I finally found the address: a nondescript brown door with a homemade sign that read, "Harmony Acupuncture."
I walked up the stairs and immediately all of my anxiety disappeared. I was greeted by a smiling older Chinese man. You know those people who put you at ease the moment you meet them? I felt like I was seeing an old friend. He asked me to hold on, since he was checking out another patient. I overheard their hushed conversation. My Chinese man said to the woman, "if your period doesn't come, make an appointment and we'll try something else." I SOO wanted to rush over and introduce myself to the gal and exchange contact details so we could become a fertility support network for each other. "I'm in the same position as you!" I thought to myself. Of course, I sat tight.
Finally the man introduced himself as Dr. Po-Lin Shyu, the master of the program. I felt somewhat honored to be in his presence. He whisked me into one of the patient rooms. It was a much more pleasant room compared to the rooms in San Ramon, painted pink with drapes on the window. The room was quite warm, which made me happy since I'm always on the cold side. Dr. Shyu asked me many questions, a very different experience from the very clinical, business-like practitioners at the San Ramon office.
When he "needled" me (the term they use), he tapped the location where the needle would go in just before inserting the needle... so I never felt the needle going in! Ok, well, except for the one that went in my right foot - there just ain't a lot of flesh on my feet.
The 25 minute wait was not as boring and tedious as it was for me in San Ramon. Maybe it was the atmosphere, or maybe just my frame of mind. While waiting, every so often I'd hear a kitchen timer go off. Someone (I'm sure it was Dr. Shyu) would turn off the alarm then move to another room, presumably to help other clients. The background noise was a pleasant distraction for me.
Finally my alarm went off and the needles came out. Dr. Shyu informed me that the masseuse who was supposed to do my acupressure massage was stuck with a broken down car. He apologized and said he'd massage me for a little bit. He spent 10 minutes or so massaging my mid-section. Perfect! I wasn't looking forward to a 60 minute acupressure massage anyways (see my post, "A different kind of massage" for more info).
When he was done, Dr. Shyu actually told me that everything seemed "really good" and that he felt no tight spots within my organs. YES! I SOO needed the positive feedback that what I'm doing is right.
The SF Harmony Acupuncture office is on Clement street, which is like a mini-Chinatown. All of the shops cater to the Chinese community... grocery stores with unidentifiable fruits and vegetables outside. Signs written in Chinese, etc.
I walked along Clement looking for the address, passing shabbily dressed, elderly Asians clutching bags of groceries. Echoing in the back of my mind were my mom's words when I first told her I was doing acupuncture, "is the place clean?" (forehead crinkled with look of cringe on her face). I finally found the address: a nondescript brown door with a homemade sign that read, "Harmony Acupuncture."
I walked up the stairs and immediately all of my anxiety disappeared. I was greeted by a smiling older Chinese man. You know those people who put you at ease the moment you meet them? I felt like I was seeing an old friend. He asked me to hold on, since he was checking out another patient. I overheard their hushed conversation. My Chinese man said to the woman, "if your period doesn't come, make an appointment and we'll try something else." I SOO wanted to rush over and introduce myself to the gal and exchange contact details so we could become a fertility support network for each other. "I'm in the same position as you!" I thought to myself. Of course, I sat tight.
Finally the man introduced himself as Dr. Po-Lin Shyu, the master of the program. I felt somewhat honored to be in his presence. He whisked me into one of the patient rooms. It was a much more pleasant room compared to the rooms in San Ramon, painted pink with drapes on the window. The room was quite warm, which made me happy since I'm always on the cold side. Dr. Shyu asked me many questions, a very different experience from the very clinical, business-like practitioners at the San Ramon office.
When he "needled" me (the term they use), he tapped the location where the needle would go in just before inserting the needle... so I never felt the needle going in! Ok, well, except for the one that went in my right foot - there just ain't a lot of flesh on my feet.
The 25 minute wait was not as boring and tedious as it was for me in San Ramon. Maybe it was the atmosphere, or maybe just my frame of mind. While waiting, every so often I'd hear a kitchen timer go off. Someone (I'm sure it was Dr. Shyu) would turn off the alarm then move to another room, presumably to help other clients. The background noise was a pleasant distraction for me.
Finally my alarm went off and the needles came out. Dr. Shyu informed me that the masseuse who was supposed to do my acupressure massage was stuck with a broken down car. He apologized and said he'd massage me for a little bit. He spent 10 minutes or so massaging my mid-section. Perfect! I wasn't looking forward to a 60 minute acupressure massage anyways (see my post, "A different kind of massage" for more info).
When he was done, Dr. Shyu actually told me that everything seemed "really good" and that he felt no tight spots within my organs. YES! I SOO needed the positive feedback that what I'm doing is right.
He didn't even charge me for the massage. I pretty much made the decision right then and there, to start seeing him going forward.
Guess I'll be driving to the city more often...
7.21.2008
Death row inmates are allowed to blog?!?!
I just read this and I am thoroughly outraged,
http://tinyurl.com/5mfavn
I cannot believe that this guy has been given the privilege of engaging with the public. He has been deemed a treat to society but he's still allowed to influence others?
I'm (of course) a big fan of blogging. I could see a non-violent prisoner being given the right to blog. Perhaps as a useful tool to promote reform... but NOT for someone who killed their wife and baby.
Tell me what you think...
http://tinyurl.com/5mfavn
I cannot believe that this guy has been given the privilege of engaging with the public. He has been deemed a treat to society but he's still allowed to influence others?
I'm (of course) a big fan of blogging. I could see a non-violent prisoner being given the right to blog. Perhaps as a useful tool to promote reform... but NOT for someone who killed their wife and baby.
Tell me what you think...
Just an observation
I made an interesting revelation this weekend. Most of the people I engage with are Democrats and very few are Republicans.
It hit me this weekend that those who are Republican are quite aggressive when it comes to stating their points. There also seems to be an air of defensiveness, akin to a bulldog protecting his bone from being taken away.
On the flip side, the Democrats I know are pretty unobtrusive, keeping their opinions to themselves, unless asked.
Just an observation... No offense meant to anyone.
It hit me this weekend that those who are Republican are quite aggressive when it comes to stating their points. There also seems to be an air of defensiveness, akin to a bulldog protecting his bone from being taken away.
On the flip side, the Democrats I know are pretty unobtrusive, keeping their opinions to themselves, unless asked.
Just an observation... No offense meant to anyone.
7.18.2008
Friday Bullets!
Yipee! It's Friday. This has been a long week. A good week. A productive week. But LONG. When's the next 3 - day weekend?
- First off, "slacker intern" put in his two week notice. Hasta la vista! That's what I say. As Kathy wrote so eloquently, "Don’t let the door bang you in the butt on your way out!" The scary part is I really don't think my boss would have fired him. Upon bossman's return from vacation, I proceeded to tattle on "slacker intern" about his slackerish behavior while the "cat" was away. I was shocked that bossman made excuses for slacker and he remained an employee. Guess that is a good thing for my own employment security...
- We're going to dinner tomorrow night. Wheeee! It has been an eternity since I've dressed up and gone to an actual restaurant for dinner. We are celebrating my wonderful friends Jackie & Mark's birthdays. Happy Birthday Jackie & Mark! Will see some friends I haven't seen in a while as well. Plus we are going to Le Colonial - the food is amazing and I have such great memories here.
- I'm very sad that I am not at the BlogHer conference. http://www.blogher.com/ I made the decision not to attend since I've been a bit to lackadaisical with my spending lately, and I'm trying to cut back. I really wish I'd bit the bullet and signed up. I am being tormented all day long with tweets from happy women who are writing their updates while at the conference. Mostly the messages are cryptic cause I'm ON THE OUTSIDE! It's like they have the secret "cool chick" language that is not revealed to the geeky girls. Next year for sure.
- I am going to set up a twitter account for Lucy. She turns 3 in October and I think she's mature enough now to be introduced to social networking. If you have any ideas for what her twitter name should be, please comment. I am leaning towards squirrel_patrol.
My "bullets" have gotten long... more like actual paragraphs, but hey, it's my blog. I can do what I want!
7.17.2008
Inspiration
Inspiration always hits me at unpredictable times.
I have been feeling a bit morose lately, like life is happening outside my window and all I can do is sit and watch. I know that this feeling is stemming from new plan to get healthy. A plan that means lots of rest, no alcohol and following a specific diet which is hard to get at restaurants. My lifestyle up until now has pretty much revolved around going to nice restaurants and drinking wine - of course, that was never the main focus. The focus has been getting together with great friends and sharing the experience.
So, as you can imagine that the transition has been a bit rough for me. Don't get me wrong, I definitely feel "healthier" and I'm happy I'm doing this. Am I putting my life on hold OR is this simply a transition period? OR is this my "new life"?
This morning, on "walkie", Lucy and I ran into one of her favorite people friends, a woman named Susan. Susan usually walks with two other women and I have always really admired them. I always felt like they are a trio who I'd really enjoy sharing a bottle of wine with (old life, of course!) I am guessing that they are in their late 50s or maybe early 60s and seem to have a really geniune friendship with each other. They walk every single day and they walk long & far... I didn't know how far until today. Anyhoo, Susan was on her own today and happened to be turning around so we walked together for a good 1/2 mile. Our conversation was very much like conversations I have with my own fabulous girlfriends. We covered topics like how we each ended up living in the SF Bay area, family, life in general. She (of course) asked if I had kids and her response, "it will happen when it is meant to." Love that!
That 1/2 walk disappeared quickly and I wished I could blow off work and continue walking with her.
At one point I asked her how long she walks and she said, "I walk for 4 1/2 hours" !!?!?! Wow. She's in fantastic shape, but I would have guessed that she and her friends walk more in the range of 4 1/2 miles. Lucy and I are slackers in comparison!
I am truly inspired... and a bit humbled.
I have been feeling a bit morose lately, like life is happening outside my window and all I can do is sit and watch. I know that this feeling is stemming from new plan to get healthy. A plan that means lots of rest, no alcohol and following a specific diet which is hard to get at restaurants. My lifestyle up until now has pretty much revolved around going to nice restaurants and drinking wine - of course, that was never the main focus. The focus has been getting together with great friends and sharing the experience.
So, as you can imagine that the transition has been a bit rough for me. Don't get me wrong, I definitely feel "healthier" and I'm happy I'm doing this. Am I putting my life on hold OR is this simply a transition period? OR is this my "new life"?
This morning, on "walkie", Lucy and I ran into one of her favorite people friends, a woman named Susan. Susan usually walks with two other women and I have always really admired them. I always felt like they are a trio who I'd really enjoy sharing a bottle of wine with (old life, of course!) I am guessing that they are in their late 50s or maybe early 60s and seem to have a really geniune friendship with each other. They walk every single day and they walk long & far... I didn't know how far until today. Anyhoo, Susan was on her own today and happened to be turning around so we walked together for a good 1/2 mile. Our conversation was very much like conversations I have with my own fabulous girlfriends. We covered topics like how we each ended up living in the SF Bay area, family, life in general. She (of course) asked if I had kids and her response, "it will happen when it is meant to." Love that!
That 1/2 walk disappeared quickly and I wished I could blow off work and continue walking with her.
At one point I asked her how long she walks and she said, "I walk for 4 1/2 hours" !!?!?! Wow. She's in fantastic shape, but I would have guessed that she and her friends walk more in the range of 4 1/2 miles. Lucy and I are slackers in comparison!
I am truly inspired... and a bit humbled.
Superwoman...
...That's what I have been today. It has been "one of those days". The kind of day where I'm on the phone, responding to emails, meanwhile another call is coming in. Off the phone, check voicemail and the process starts again. Nonstop. I did manage to take a breather to shower (my own odor was starting to bug me) and to get lunch (late, cause I *actually* forgot to eat lunch - people that does NOT happen to me... ever).
Anyways, please don't ask me who I had my first call with or what was discussed, cause I cannot recall.
Good news is busyness = sales = $$ for me! Also, I prefer to be running around like a chicken with her head chopped off than to be bored to tears, twiddling my thumbs.
Things seem to have finally settled down and I had promised myself to blog (since I was not inspired yesterday), so here we are.
My next entry will be more interesting, I promise.
Anyways, please don't ask me who I had my first call with or what was discussed, cause I cannot recall.
Good news is busyness = sales = $$ for me! Also, I prefer to be running around like a chicken with her head chopped off than to be bored to tears, twiddling my thumbs.
Things seem to have finally settled down and I had promised myself to blog (since I was not inspired yesterday), so here we are.
My next entry will be more interesting, I promise.
7.15.2008
Ads that are annoying me
KNBR (the sports radio station I listen to pretty much every waking hour) has started a new ad campaign for some fertility center in SF. I am finding these ads really obnoxious and annoying.
They are stories of different couples who had different fertility problems. But voila! Problem solved at xxx Fertility Center and now they have a bouncing baby.
Wouldn't it be great if it really were that simple? Of course they neglect to mention that the process is tedious and tiresome - signing your life away on contract after contract, multiple tests & safeguards... all before the long & often painful treatment begins. And then when you get your bill.... holy mackerel. They actually have a financial counselor on staff which gives you an idea of the kind of dollar ticket we are talking about.
What I don't understand is why they are targetting a sports radio station that primarily attracts men?
They are stories of different couples who had different fertility problems. But voila! Problem solved at xxx Fertility Center and now they have a bouncing baby.
Wouldn't it be great if it really were that simple? Of course they neglect to mention that the process is tedious and tiresome - signing your life away on contract after contract, multiple tests & safeguards... all before the long & often painful treatment begins. And then when you get your bill.... holy mackerel. They actually have a financial counselor on staff which gives you an idea of the kind of dollar ticket we are talking about.
What I don't understand is why they are targetting a sports radio station that primarily attracts men?
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